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    18 May

    美好与缺憾

         昨晚睡觉前与宿舍的女生瞎闹,突然想起了蔡智恒的小说《檞寄生》,没有任何原因,没有任何契机,就是突然想起来了。
         《檞寄生》是在初三的夏天看的,坐在床边,一个中午就看完了,还哭得泪流满面,把逛街回来的舍友吓了一跳。从那时起就很喜欢这本书,看了一遍就记住了里面好多好多的对白和描述。我喜欢蔡智恒写东西的风格,感觉淡淡的,什么都淡淡的,没有惊天动地的爱情,没有扣人心弦的情节,却能实实在在的感动我,让人觉得感伤。
         明菁和荃,两个惹人怜爱的女孩,一个豁达活泼,像太阳一样照耀着别人,永远欢笑着,温暖人心,带来光明,让人禁不住想靠近。另一个温柔柔弱,善解人意,像一潭湖水,波澜不惊,又像一个玻璃娃娃,似乎一不小心就会顷刻破碎。曾经问过几个看过的男生,他们喜欢哪一个,多半的回答都是荃,大概男人都喜欢柔软似水的女人吧。我喜欢明菁,喜欢书中描写得她的笑容,她的话语,喜欢她叫“过儿”的样子。她很漂亮,很聪明,很勇敢,却也很脆弱。看到最后一切明了,她打破盘子收拾碎片时颤抖的样子,好心疼。
         总觉得在很多时候,坚强的人、勇敢的人,似乎都不容易得到幸福。是不是正因为她们坚强了、勇敢了,上帝就要为她们设计更多的考验?
         总为明菁叹息,叹息那个他的迟钝。让六年在六天中化为泡影。爱情哪能用天平来衡量,一开始就已经倾斜了,又何必自欺欺人的往另一边加砝码来保持平衡呢。
         明菁如此美好,却没有得到幸福,也许真的不会有完美的美好,所以才会让美好本身留下缺憾吧。
         “明菁,你永远是我的太阳,我之所以会发光,完全都是因为你,如果没有你,我永远只是一颗暗淡的星球。”

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